i believe in leashes: my story

At one time, I believed that off-leash freedom was a basic right of dogs and something an owner should provide on a regular basis. I don't mean just in his own backyard. I believed that well-behaved dogs should be allowed to roam free every now and then. I advocated heavily for a dog park in Maricopa, the growing city we originally established ourselves in when we moved to Arizona. In fact, I was a founding member and chairperson of a group that raised a considerable amount of money toward that cause.

Over the years, I have changed my mind about public off-leash places, and, especially, about people allowing their dogs to roam free in their open garages or driveways. My current opinion is based on a solid combination of education, experience, and fear.

In April of 2007, I was walking a client's dog when my life was altered forever. Ralphie, a big, sweet, mixed-breed pooch, had been in my care numerous times, and we'd been on countless walks together. I knew her well. She was a calm, well-behaved girl who knew how to walk on a leash.

I had my boys with me that evening. B was going on eleven years old, and Porter was an infant, not even three months old. B pushed Porter in his stroller while I walked Ralphie. We took a typical route around the neighborhood on the sidewalk on the right side of the road. As we neared the end of the street where the road turned only one way, I heard a sudden commotion at a bank of mailboxes across the street.

It's true when they say time slows down when your adrenaline kicks in, but, still, it all happened so fast.

Three large dogs charged us. Their owner, a graying man standing at his open mailbox with an armful of letters, was left in the dust. I came to learn later that he was only just across the street from his home. He didn't feel he needed to leash his dogs.

I had time only to scream "GET YOUR BROTHER ACROSS THE STREET" to B, which he did in an instant. The dogs were not after me or my boys. They were after Ralphie. And she was such a sweetheart (maybe without much brains), that she didn't fight back. My instincts took over, and they were to protect her. It was three against one, and I was her back-up. She was in my charge, and I was responsible. Don't question my thought process, because there was no thought process.

I screamed. I kicked the other dogs. I flailed. But one thing I didn't do was let go of Ralphie's leash. If I did, I would completely lose control of her, and, as a professional pet sitter, that was unacceptable to me. She was my responsibility, and I had to protect her. The noise of the three dogs was frightening. They were wolves in that moment. There were teeth and there was strength in this unfairly balanced fight that I can't describe. I held on to the leash.

As the battle migrated, I was pulled down and drug over the asphalt. My stomach had road rash. I got up, and then I was pulled down and drug a second time, this time on my knees. Still, somehow, only by instinct (certainly not using whatever brains had), I still held on to the leash. I held on as the owner of the dogs drug each one by the collar back to his house as the remaining dog(s) continued their attack. Once the final dog was off, I ran Ralphie back to my boys. All I had left in me was adrenaline. The man tried to talk to me, and I just wanted to get away. I just wanted my boys and Ralphie as far away from that as we could get. The man hollered after me, but I don't know what he said. I just walked fast. It didn't matter my condition or Ralphie's in that moment. We just had to get far, far away.

We rounded the next corner, and B started talking to me. I told him to just be quiet and walk fast. He insisted. "Kristen, you're bleeding. You're bleeding really bad." I didn't feel pain, but when I looked down, I saw that my knees no longer had skin. Just then, a bit of pain registered in my hand. When I looked, I had to look away. Yes, there was blood, but the worst of it was the fact that my pinkie finger was bent at a 90-degree angle, and not in the natural way.

With all of my mothering and pet-protecting instincts in overdrive, and, admittedly, a ridiculously idiotic low-level of self-protective drive running through my veins, I told B not to worry...I'd be just fine. Let's just get home.

Miraculously, and unbelievably, Ralphie didn't have a scratch on her. I checked every. single. inch. She was perfect.

I don't remember how I got Ralphie home, but I remember needing B's help to feed her, because I only had one hand to work with. Feed her? As if an animal couldn't miss one meal under the circumstances. I went into auto-pilot, and, with help, I got the job done. In my mind, there was no other way. I wiped the blood off of my client's floor and took the bloody paper towels with me, not wanting to leave something so alarming behind. Porter was awake, but kept quiet. B listened and followed my every direction, which was also miraculous.

We got into my stick-shift Jeep Wrangler. Before we left the driveway, I dialed Ralphie's mom. I told her voice mail first that Ralphie was fine, and then I apologized for having to cut the visit a bit short, but that I needed some medical attention.

"Where are we going?" B asked.

"I don't know, yet." I remember telling myself, for the first time, to think. Think. Think. How was I going to drive the Jeep with one hand?

Somehow, we arrived at the local urgent care, which was the largest medical facility our small town had. They looked at me and immediately told me they couldn't help and that I needed to go to the hospital.

I drove home (how they allowed me to do that with two children is still a mystery), and I called my husband at work. "Please, please come home and help me. There's been an accident with some dogs, and I'm pretty sure I have a broken finger." That's when I looked down at my hand for the second time, and realized I'd best not look again. My husband was on his way. Porter started to cry because he was hungry. I pulled him to my breast, but I couldn't hold him. I needed my hand to work. B held his baby brother while I heated a bottle of pumped breast milk and defrosted a few more, predicting that I might not be able to feed him for a while. My husband came home and went into action, letting me believe he wasn't any more concerned than I was. He drove us all to the hospital. X-rays were taken. The nurses cleaned me up and put my hand in large cast-like bandage. They instructed me not to remove it, gave me a prescription for painkillers, and made me an appointment with the valley's top orthopedist for first thing the next morning.

I don't remember much else from that night, but I do remember wondering what the big deal was. My dad had had countless football injuries and stories of his coaches popping his fingers back in to place. He went right back into the game, and that was all I could think of. Why couldn't the hospital staff do just that and send me on my way? Why wasn't I simply back in the game?

I learned from the orthopedist the next morning that three fingers on my left hand were broken clean through, but not cleanly. There were jagged edges and fun things like that. I dreaded being in a cast for who knew how long, and then the doctor casually told me that my surgery was scheduled. SURGERY? For silly little fingers? Yes, there would be permanent screws and lots of physical therapy. I was in denial and disbelief.

The reality of the situation came to be that I had two surgeries, six months of physical therapy, and I still have very limited mobility in those three fingers to this day. I'm fine. I mean, considering the recent events that have left so many without limbs at all, what am I complaining about?

Where am I now? I have pain or discomfort every day, but natural joint supplements help. I can't bend my fingers properly, which makes some tasks difficult. I have a hard time holding small items, and it's tough to tie a pretty bow on a birthday package. Braiding my daughter's hair is a challenge, but I manage to get it done. It's difficult for me to cut with a knife and fork, because holding the fork in my left hand isn't easy. There are a bunch of things I can't do properly, but, still, I can do everything in my way, and I am a whole, fine person. Even so, it still sucks.

My life was forever changed simply because that man thought in that particular moment that he didn't need to leash his dogs. He was just going across the street. He was just checking his mailbox. His dogs were nice. His dogs knew commands. His dogs were in his control. He didn't account for variables.

I'm very cautious, now, when it comes to off-leash dogs. If an untethered canine comes down a driveway at me while I'm walking a dog, I am not shy about letting the owner know that the situation is unacceptable. The owner might say "don't worry...he's friendly." But how does he know my dog is friendly? How does he know that their combination won't be volatile? Although any public off-leash situation now makes me leery, appropriate and allowable off-leash situations exist. Save it for the dog park, when everyone in attendance understands that it is an off-leash situation and is choosing to put themselves and their animals in that position. Invite some doggie pals over for a party, and let them run around, free, in your own backyard.

People and other animals should not be placed in jeopardy because someone feels their dog has a right to "freedom." Dog owners need to take every precaution.

I believe in leashes.

seeing things with Sadie

Some animals I meet stay in my heart long after their need for my care is over. I can't say exactly why. I love all of the animals I see (well, maybe there have been a couple I could have done without), but we all have our favorites, no matter how awful that is to admit. There is just this different kind of bond that occurs with some. Sadie is one of those for me. She passed away some time ago, but I truly think of her every day.

Sadie was an eleven-year-old Shar-pei when her parents, June and Ron, called upon me to care for her while they would go out of town. Their home was perfectly kept, save for a border of dots and smears about a foot and a half up the wall all around their home. They were the markings Sadie made with her nose as she navigated her surroundings. Sadie was blind.

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Sadie's dad, Ron, told me about how they were reluctant to take Sadie on when they first saw her, and she wasn't blind then. They were not considering another pet at the time. Isn't that how it always goes? Ron and June gave in to Sadie's charms when some friends brought her to them as a six-week-old puppy. "That night little Sadie just snuggled up to June and did not want to leave," Ron recalled. "We figured this was an omen and agreed to make her part of our family."

Ron explained that though Sadie was "truly a great dog and caused very little problems," there was that one incident with his father's toupée. Oh, and a separate incident with a bag of Hershey's Kisses. She was special, but not immune to common canine temptations.

Sadie acquired SARDS and lost her eyesight rapidly. She learned to swim out of necessity, after falling in the pool on several occasions. She adapted to new surroundings after a couple of moves, but when the family moved to Estrella, "she was very disoriented most of the time. Sometimes she couldn't find her way out and had to relieve herself inside. Other times she did find her way out, but could not find her way back in, and the 100+ degree weather would just wear her out," reflected Ron. "After two months of watching her fade...we decided that the best thing would be to put her down." Ron and June stayed with her until after she took her final breath. Her ashes were scattered in a field in northern Arizona amongst the flowers "where she could chase butterflies until we join her."

When I first met Sadie, I didn't think we'd connect very well. There was no sparkle in her eyes that happy, excited dogs usually get when they meet me. No panting, toothy smile. Just a droopy head and sad face. I thought she was smart and brave, but cautious. She knew where to find her food and water and where her doggie door was. She knew where the main pieces of furniture were, and she could navigate mostly without bumping into much, though it would make me sad if she'd miss a doorway or get stuck in a corner, confused, which would happen on occasion. And I would feel terribly guilty if I pulled a chair out to sit and saw her bump into it.

Sadie taught me how to interact with her, and every time I was with her, I learned a bit more. She loved to be pet, but a sudden pat on the head could be quite startling for her because she couldn't see it coming. I learned that if I told her I was going to pet her, she wouldn't flinch quite as bad, and if I kept my hand in contact with her, she quite enjoyed the attention.

Sadie knew where the furniture was, but she didn't always know where I was, so I learned to talk to her as I went about my business of filling her water bowl or scooping her poop in the back yard. That way, she could stand securely next to me and enjoy the company rather than be apprehensive about the possibility of bumping into me. I'd sound pretty silly chattering on about nothing, but we all act embarrassingly silly around our pets, right? RIGHT? Well, Sadie liked it, anyway.

She knew exactly where her doggie door was. Right next to the master bedroom slider. I would exit out the slider to clean the yard and hang out in the sun with her. Although I'd open the glass door wide and call to her, an opportunity not to be missed by a sighted dog, she'd still use her doggie door, a behavior of hers that always made me giggle.

She seemed to like me more and more as the months passed. She relaxed around me. And though I never saw that happy smile I longed for, she just seemed warmer, like she was smiling on the inside.

My main challenge with Sadie became filling the time. My pet sitting visits are about an hour in length, time usually spent taking a walk or playing fetch, activities too challenging for Sadie's condition. So I started bringing whatever novel I was reading at the time, and I'd sit and pet her while I read. I noticed that once I became quiet, stopping my chatter to read, Sadie would lose interest in me and wander off to be alone. But there's only so much you can chat about with a dog. So I started reading to her. I'd sit on the floor and start reading my book out loud. Instead of wandering off, She'd cock her head to the side and settle in next to me, sometimes even putting her head in my lap. The best way I can describe the experience is bonding. Just simple bonding. That type of intimacy is pretty special.

I often think of these reading times with Sadie. She didn't seem to have a preference for fiction or nonfiction. She didn't mind crude humor or historical diatribes. She liked it all, as long as she could hear me. Sometimes, now, when I sit down with a good book, I think of Sadie and wish her sweet little wrinkled head would be there to lay my hand upon and not let go.

you never know what might happen when your mom is a pet sitter

I try to make most of our food and avoid the processed stuff. But sometimes you just have to break the rules. When my four-year-old daughter, Campbell, saw the angel food cake with a dusting of pink confectioner's glitter on top at the "regular" grocery store bakery today and looked at me with those "mommy, can we keep her?" eyes, I couldn't resist. Sometimes happiness is worth a bit of guilt.

She had me pull it out of the fridge to take a gander about every five minutes until the boys got home from school. She was quite confident that they would share her excitement. Our teen thing, B, told her there was no way he was eating it. 

Fine. No desert for you.

She hoped that her six-year-old brother would be on her side. "Po! We got a cake at the store, and it has pink glitter!"

"WHAT?" he demanded. "It has KITTY LITTER? I'm not eating that, either!"

When your mom is a pet sitter, your mind just goes there. Next time we'll opt for the Almond Rocha surprise cake. 

 

tails on trails today: who's guiding whom?

When I began Well Minded, I envisioned it primarily as a pet sitting business, but I didn't want to close myself off. I'm an entrepreneur and an adventurer at heart, so I didn't want to discount the possibility of going into training or grooming, both of which I have come to learn are not my strengths. Although I like to try lots of things, I recognize my weaknesses and try to focus elsewhere. I'm good at caring for animals. I love to hike. It's an activity I took up only after moving to AZ. There are countless trails in Phoenix, and my favorite local spot is South Mountain. I recently decided to combine my love of hiking and my love of animals. I started "Tails on Trails," small-group hikes for dogs. Once a week, I pick up dogs, drive them to the trails, provide secure leashes, water, poop bags, and post-hike pictures to my clients so they can see our adventures.

Though we've had other dogs sometimes join the ranks, today it was just me and my two really regular regulars. They have been to every hike since the start, and we definitely have a multifaceted bond. When I arrive for pick-up, the brown one goes ape-shit. The black one is calm, yet welcoming. Both are SO excited that I'm there, and they know why I'm there. They enjoy the car ride to the trails. When we first hit the dirt, they go, then sniff. Mark. Walk. Trot. Sniff. Sniff. Sniff. Mark. And then I tell them "that's enough," and they seem to understand that though there will be countless animal smells, excrement aromas, and tiny fast-moving reptiles, birds, and small mammals to grasp their attentions and snap their necks in this direction and that, we're there to hike. And hiking means moving. So then about five minutes in, we get into our groove. And then they go poop. And then we get going, for reals.

Enjoying the spring wildflowers.

Trotters.

While they get over all of that, I'm making sure the leash isn't cutting my wrist in the wrong place, my phone (for camera access) is in the most strategic pocket, and that my underwear isn't riding in the wrong spot since we're in it for the long haul. When we hit our stride, and we're all in sync, I feel like something was meant to be. The dogs start to pick up the pace, and so do I. They navigate the trail beautifully, and I pick my footing as if I had instinct for the thing. We do this jog/walk/hike thing that feels good. Just as I notice a nice view, they slow down, as if they recognize something to be seen beyond the dusty trail their noses run along. And they show me details in the path.

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how the work from home mom thing works

I never thought I'd want to raise my own kids. I mean, other people's kids always drove me crazy. I had no idea I'd fall in love with my kids. I thought I'd have no problem putting them in day care so I could work. I actually used to say that I'd go nuts if I had to stay home with my kids. That's before I gave birth. I'd been a step mom for several years prior to having my own children, but that role did not ask me to make a decision about whether or not to work. Once I had my son, Porter, I knew that working from home was the right decision for us. It would allow me to work, which I loved, but also be present and raise my child myself. Maternity leave? Nope! I was back to work a week after giving birth, and Porter came with me (my husband did, too, so we could document Porter's first "job").

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Before you think I'm an awful mother for just throwing him blindly into the workforce, please know that he'd had some prior experience at home.

Porter and Kermit.

Porter and N.A.S.H.A.

He continued to go on pet sitting visits with me. At first he would sit in his car seat carrier and snooze away, but he later became more involved.

Lovin' the lovin'.

Getting a closer look, with help from Daddy.

So we gave him some more in-depth training at home.

Advanced training.

Porter basically went everywhere with me, and has a love and respect for animals to show for it. When my daughter, Campbell, came along two years later, it was definitely more challenging. Toting a toddler and a newborn to every job was not easy, so I relied more on a wonderful pet sitter I'd hired (she's still with us and still fantastic) and some scheduling magic. And, of course, since Campbell is my second child, I have no pictures to document her early pet sitting adventures.

At first I was hesitant that I'd appear unprofessional to clients if my kids accompanied me on visits, but then I realized that by owning my own business, I got to make the rules, and in order for it to work for me, it had to be a family affair. The animals loved it, the kids loved it, and I loved it. And we still do! During every initial consultation, I ask how the client's pets do with children. Almost always, clients are excited about the idea that their pets get a three-for-one deal, and I must say, my kids can wear out the animals even better than I can. Both Porter and Campbell go on jobs with me on a daily basis. They know how to care for animals, and even more importantly, they have learned how to care about animals.

Tail pullers, they are not.