My brother-in-law, Greg, attended college in Missouri, so I can say I've been to this state, if only for his graduation ceremony. I remember passing through the pathway of entertainment billboards touting that a good time was to be had in Branson. I also remember a tremendous number of stricken armadillos on the side of the highway. I should think there would be a law about that, but, alas, I couldn't find one. Here's what I uncovered...
• It is illegal to park your car with the engine on, on the basis that it might scare horses. Let's not worry about fuel economy or the environment. I wonder how many horses are faced with this crisis. I'm all for respecting animals, but I'm thinking your average horse cruising the streets of Missouri might have scarier things to worry about in this day and age.
• In Kansas City, installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited. This just takes respecting animals to a whole new level. I can imagine it would be illegal to use actual animal paws, but something molded? Maybe that's why all the fancy home makeover shows stay out of Missouri.
• In Natchez, it shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants. That's nice. I wonder how many beers it would take to get an elephant drunk. Probably not worth it to find out.
• In Perryville, you may not attack a bird with a catapult within the city. Put your catapults away, people. Y'all will have to settle for the inconvenience of shotguns.
• Worrying squirrels is not tolerated. Don't they seem like nervous little creatures, anyway? I'm curious to know how one "worries" them further. Or do they mean "worrying" as an adjective, and it's actually a worrying squirrel who is in danger of arrest. Well, no wonder they are so worried!
Law information source: stupidlaws.com and dumblaws.com