facing pet loss: another lesson in saying goodbye

As most of you know, our family has been dealing with quite a bit of pet death lately. Some special clients have left us, and we've been working through that. My Junior Pet Sitters Porter (8) and Campbell (6), are hit especially hard when our animal friends depart. 

We lost another pet this week. This one was ours. Plantie, Porter's beta fish, is no longer with us. 

Facing Pet Loss: Another Lesson in Saying Goodbye

Porter named Plantie, "Plantie," because from day one, he loved to hang out in his aquatic plastic plant. And being a boy of four, the name just made sense. So "Plantie" it was. Though Plantie explored his tank, he would always come back to his plant. Like Porter had "Super" (short for "Super Blankie"),  Plantie had his plant for security. 

A few months ago, I started noticing Plantie not looking so perky, He would rest more often in his plant, and he started to look a bit "askew." I Googled "life expectancy of a beta fish" and learned that the big 0-2 was average. Plantie was four-and-a-half. 

I let Porter know that Plantie had more-than-doubled his life expectancy and that he wasn't looking his best, so to be prepared. Sensitive Porter had a breakdown and obsessively observed his fish when he was home and then obsessively asked me about his fish on the way home from school each day. I felt like it was too much turmoil for him, so I publicly squelched my concerns and told him not to worry...Plantie was just getting old but doing okay. "Old folks move slower," I said. "You know how you see older people with a cane, or they just walk really slow? They are still enjoying life, but just at a slower pace. That's where Plantie is in his life." 

It seemed to soothe him a bit and diminish his obsession, but he'd still check in several times a day.

Over the past several weeks, I've watched Plantie slowly deteriorate. He progressed to the point where he'd basically lay around all day in the corner of his tank, just breathing, but he'd still perk up each morning at feeding time, wiggling around in excitement, migrating with effort up to the tallest leaves of his plant in anticipation. He loved breakfast. As the days went by, it seemed to me as if his lower body was paralyzed and his head was controlling all movement. Yet he still got excited when I'd approach his tank, so we proceeded. 

The other morning, as I approached, I didn't see him wiggling to get to his plant, and I knew. I had to look all over to find him, and discovered Plantie was not living up to his name, but was, instead, laying on the bottom of the tank not breathing. 

I broke the news to Porter, and he was as crushed as expected. He knew in his head that Plantie had lived a fuller-than-full life, but it still stung. The permanent news is a bit like an electric shock. I pulled the fish out with a net so Porter could confirm him deceased and take a good last look and say goodbye. Porter wanted to do the honors, himself, so we all gathered in the bathroom and supported him as he placed Plantie into the toilet and pushed the handle. He asked to keep Plantie's plant.

We let his teachers know since Porter was quite down and distracted. The news must have spread to his friends, as he came home with pictures and notes of sympathy. It really touched my heart that his peers would be so thoughtful and sympathetic. 

Very sweet note.

Angel fish.

R.I.P. Plantie. You were a good fish and lived up to your name each day until your last. We will miss you. 

Plantie a few weeks before he passed.

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could your child be lured by a stranger with a puppy?

My child would never talk to a stranger. Would yours? Most parents would say no. We've all talked to our kids about "stranger danger," or some form of it, right? I tell my children one simple rule: If I am standing close enough for you to touch me, you may speak to anyone you like. If I'm not within arm's reach, you must ask before you speak to anyone you don't know. But what if the temptation was great? What if the stranger had a puppy? 

Have you seen Joey Salads' "social experiment" where he lures children away in about a nanosecond by engaging them with a puppy? It's been circulating in a viral-ish way lately, and he's done some other versions of it, but the puppy version just blows me away.

luring children with a puppy

Salads approaches parents who are watching their children play in a park and asks their permission to talk to their children as a "social experiment." They all tell him that their children won't talk to him.

All of the children talk to him.

What's worse? Within a few seconds, they happily take him by the hand and walk away from their mothers with the promise of seeing more puppies like the one he has. 

After watching the video the first time a few weeks ago, I knew in my gut that my children would have gone with him, too. I'd like to think they wouldn't. But they would. Since I am a pet sitter, my kids can't resist anything animal. And Salads was super nice and cool. Hell, I may have gone with him, myself. 

As scary as it is, I showed my kids (ages eight and six) again and again, as well as the other versions of Salads' social experiments. Though I don't think anything could be as irresistible to them as a puppy, I've talked to them about all types of ways strangers might try to tempt them. And I reinforce the rule: If I'm within reach, would it be okay to talk to this guy? "Yes, mommy." And if I'm across the park sitting on a bench, talking to another mom? (because, really, do we watch our kids every SECOND?) "No...we'd come ask you first."

But these moms were caught off guard. They were utterly shocked. I think this has to be an ongoing conversation, and I think it's important to show our kids videos like this. I would actually like to hire someone to come to my next park playdate and see which kids they could lure. Would mine go?

Would yours?

Is your kid safe? 

This article, written by me, originally appeared on Brie Brie Blooms and is reposted here with minor changes with permission. Footage photo source: youtube.com

child dog-walkers: guidelines and illustrated leash-holding techniques

Children typically love to help out with the family pet. Even if you can't get them to clean their rooms, they will likely be happy to walk Fido. My son, Porter, has been accompanying me on pet sitting visits since he was one week old. As soon as he could hold his head up properly, I would put him in a forward-facing carrier on my chest while I walked dogs. At about six months of age, he began to want to hold the leash he could see stretched out in front of him. I let him hold the leash a couple of feet in front of the end where I had a firm grasp, and I think he was convinced that he was doing the job, himself. He'd giggle and coo during every walk. He is now eight years old, and I'll let him walk the family dog independently and very occasionally a client's dog, depending on the dog and the situation. Regardless, I'm an arms-length away in case an emergency arises. There are lots of tasks children can help with when it comes to the family pet, but walks are a favorite. One thing to remember is that our pets are completely dependent upon us to meet their basic needs. It's vital that parents make sure the most important tasks are being done, especially if they have been assigned to a child. Making sure the family dog gets food, water, and exercise is vital to his well-being. 

so when is a child ready to walk the family dog?

Whether a child is capable of walking the family dog is dependent on a number of factors, all of which must be considered for the safety of the child and the pet. 

• age of the child

• maturity of the child

• physical strength of the child

• size/strength of the dog

• energy level of the dog

• behavior of the dog

Each child/dog combo is unique, so you'll have to carefully consider your own situation. A two-year-old may be able to walk your senior Daschund who moves as slow as a snail with some supervision. On the other hand, even a tween may not be able to handle the energy and strength of a young Boxer. 

It's important to consider what kind of a walker your dog typically is. Under normal circumstances, how does your dog walk? Has he been leash trained? Does he walk along the sidewalk next to you in a relaxed fashion, or does he dart here and there, veering under every bush to check things out? Does he pull on the leash? If your child is able to handle what your dog dishes out, then it's a go. The age of the child should always be considered, however. Even if your five-year-old can appropriately handle the family chihuahua, a five-year-old should not be navigating the neighborhood alone. Young children should always be accompanied by a responsible adult or older sibling. 

What's even more important to consider is how your dog will behave in an unusual situation. What would happen if a squirrel suddenly darted across your path? Would your dog spring into action and pull you up a tree to get to it? Or what if you encounter another dog? Even if your dog gets along well with others, you never know who you'll meet. You might run into Kujo. Can your child handle those extreme situations that can happen in an instant? If not, you need to walk within inches of your child and pooch, prepared to take over, should the need arise. 

I allow my eight- and six-year-old to walk our 11-pound , 9-year-old mixed terrier. She has quite a bit of energy even though she is getting on in years, but she walks fairly well on a leash, and when she gets excited about something enough to pull, the kids have the strength to control her. I walk with them, however, because I feel that A) they are too young to be out and about on their own, and B) they may not be able to handle a sticky situation, such as a brush with a not-so-friendly or off-leash dog. If we encounter a situation like that, I simply take over the responsibility of holding the leash until the unpredictable situation has passed.

If your child isn't ready to walk the dog independently, you can do as I do or even allow your smaller child to hold the leash with you. It can be a bit awkward for two people to hold the leash, but if it's safer that way for your situation, it's a great way to get your child involved in the task.

does it matter how a child holds a leash?

You may not think so, but it's important for the safety of the dog and the walker, regardless of age. A proper leash hold will allow your child control and will prevent the potential for injury or a loose dog. Below, you'll see a couple of  common mistakes as well as the the best hold.

The wrist wrap-around is wrong.

One of the most common ways children hold a leash is the wrist wrap-around position. It seems ultra-secure because it almost guarantees that the child won't let go of the leash. And therein lies the problem. The child really can't let go of the leash, something that is necessary in some emergency situations. Though it's important for a child to have a secure hold on the leash, there must be an escape, and the wrist wrap-around hold does not allow that.

The four-finger grasp leaves a lot of room for error.

The four-finger grasp is another common leash hold for a child. It is natural and easy, but has just the opposite problem of the wrist wrap-around hold. This hold does not allow enough security, as the leash can easily be pulled from the child's grasp.

Thumbs up for the thumbs-up hold!

The best way for a child (or anyone) to hold a leash is the thumbs-up hold, pictured here. It may seem a bit awkward at first, and it may not feel as secure, but rest assured that it is. Ask your child to give you a classic "thumbs up" gesture. The leash is grasped by the child's four fingers, then looped around the thumb. The thumb stays up to prevent the leash from being yanked from your child's grasp, but your child can quickly let go in an emergency situation. It's the best of both worlds, secure, yet safe.

With the proper leash hold, your child and dog can learn to walk well together. Though each child/dog combo has a unique set of circumstances and requires individual evaluation, there are some deal-breakers:

• Any child under the age of five should not independently hold a leash.

• A child of any age should not be allowed to walk a dog he can't control. This is true of adults, as well. If the dog can not be controlled on a leash, leash training is a must.

• Children under the age of ten should always be supervised when dog-walking.

• Children should never walk a dog who is aggressive toward other people or animals.

• Children should never walk multiple dogs at the same time.

• Retractable leashes pose many dangers and should not be used by children (nor is it my advice for anyone to use them)

When proper technique is used and your child can control the animal, dog-walking is a great way for your child to get involved in the family chores and bond with your pooch. It is a fun activity, and the exercise and fresh air will be great for both human and canine. So get out there and work together to ensure everyone is safe, secure, and happy! 

How does your child help with the family pets?

This article, written by me, originally appeared as a contributor post on Brie Brie Blooms. It has been posted here with minor changes with permission.

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This article, written by me, originally appeared on Brie Brie Blooms. It appears here with minor changes, with permission. 

Kids and pets: they go together like peanut butter and jelly, right? Families who have never even considered incorporating an animal into their lives may consider it once their children start the begging process. Any kind of pet requires some level of care, so at what age is a child ready for that responsibility? Since all kids are different, it can be difficult to determine a general guideline, but there are some important things to consider that can help us make a good choice when deciding whether to incorporate a pet into the family. 

Step 1: Determine if the pet you are considering is in the realm of possibility. Housing pony in your apartment or a shark in your pool are suggestions that can be shot down without further ado.

Step 2: Research, research, research, and ask yourself some tough questions. Some things to consider:

• What type of daily care is involved?

• How much exercise does this animal need to be healthy and happy, and am I physically able and willing to spend the time an energy it takes to provide that?

• Will this pet make a mess (shedding, pooping, chewing, etc.), and am I willing to put up with that mess?

• What is the life expectancy of the pet, and will we be able to care for the pet for the duration of its life?

• Is this pet a safe choice for our family? What are the risk factors?

• Is anyone in the household allergic to this type of animal?

• What are the upfront and long-term costs associated with bringing this pet into the family? Consider food, supplies, vacation care, and veterinary costs. Is proper care for the pet in our budget?

• What will day-to-day life be like with this pet? Will this pet add joy or chaos to our family?

• Who will be responsible for day-to-day care of the pet?

• Can you provide the animal a safe, loving, healthy environment?

Step 3: If you've determined the answers to all of the questions above, and are confident that a new addition would be great for your family, then it's time to find the perfect pet. 

Let's look at some common options.

DOG

It's a classic. What kid doesn't want a snuggly puppy? Puppies and dogs are lots of work, but the rewards are great. They truly can become members of the family.

Pros: Oh, so cute. High level of interaction, great exercise partner, excellent snuggle-buddy, playful.

Cons: Can be messy, require lots of interaction. Exercise requirements must be met for physical and mental health. May require training. Ongoing grooming and veterinary costs. You have to take Fido on vacation with you or find a pet sitter.

How do I get one? I'm an advocate for rescue. Most areas have multiple rescues to choose from. There may be certain cases where a particular breed may be purchased from a reputable breeder, but never, ever purchase a puppy or dog from a pet store, as they almost always have come from a puppy mill.

Upfront cost: $$$

Ongoing cost: $$$

Daily care required: Feeding multiple times per day, providing fresh, clean water as needed, meeting exercise requirements (depending on breed and age through walking, jogging, playing and other forms of exercise), high level of interaction with family, cleaning "accidents" or mishaps if untrained.

Periodic care required: Regular veterinary care, grooming, pet sitting.

Bottom line: The right dog with the right family is magic. It is likely that all family members will need to participate caring for a pooch. As children grow older, they can take on more responsibility.

CAT

Cats are great. They are as individual as we are. Some cats are low-maintenance, and some require more attention. How integrated they are into your family largely depends on their nature and your care.

Pros: Fun and often funny. Some will be highly interactive (never leaving your lap or quite playful), and some will disappear until dinner is served (you are their slave). It all depends on what you are looking for. Usually require a bit less maintenance than dogs do. 

Cons: That litter box smell (in most parts of the country, it is best to keep a cat indoors), worried parents if an outdoor cat doesn't make curfew, sometimes they barf up hairballs, sometimes they scratch stuff up. They sometimes scratch and bite if they don't get their way.

How do I get one? Rescue, rescue, rescue. There are SO many kittens and cats of any age that need homes desperately. 

Upfront cost: $$

Ongoing cost: $$

Daily care required: Feeding once or twice, providing fresh, clean water as needed, scooping the litter box.

Periodic care required: Regular veterinary care, grooming (varies, depending on coat) pet sitting.

Bottom line: Look for the right fit. Cats are as individual as we are. If you adopt a cat that fits with the lifestyle you want, you'll have a great buddy.

SMALL CAGED FURRIES

Rabbits, guinea pigs, rats, mice, hamsters, and gerbils all fall into this category. Though personalities will vary amongst breeds and individual animals, the general care and time commitment is similar. 

Pros: These pets are cute and entertaining, and, depending on type, can even be trained. They don't need walks, and they won't take over your house (unless they escape, heaven forbid).

Cons: Frequent cage clean-ups and difficult–if not impossible–to potty train. Often shy and skittish, at first and can be slow to warm up. These animals often make quite a bit of noise gnawing on things hopping about or running in an exercise wheel. 

How do I get one? Your best option is always to rescue, but small caged animals aren't as abundantly available as dogs and cats. If you've checked your local rescues and the type of pet you want is not available, make sure the pet store you purchase from is reputable.

Upfront cost: $$

Ongoing cost: $

Daily care required: Providing fresh food and water and interaction, as well as a means to exercise (large pen or running wheel).

Periodic care required: Veterinary care as needed, Cage cleaning every few days, depending on the individual animal. Pet sitting required for extended trips.

Bottom line: In reality, small caged animals are more work than they are thought to be. They can be great "starter" pets for children, but once the initial infatuation wears off, your child may lose interest.

BIRD

Birds come in all kinds, from the small, quiet, finch to the exotic, chatty, parrot. if you are truly a bird lover, you should have no trouble finding the perfect fit.

Pros: Beautiful and fun to watch and interact with (depending on species). Songs can be soothing to listen to. You can put them to bed.

Cons: Birds can be messy and loud. Birds who squawk can be disruptive. Time consuming to train. Some will bite.  

How do I get one? Bird rescues exist, and they are great places to find an avian family member. Rescues will know the individual personalities of birds and can help you find a great match. Purchasing a bird through a reputable pet store is a second option.

Upfront cost: $$-$$$$

Ongoing cost: $$

Daily care required: Providing food, fresh water, and treats, as well as daily interaction and cage maintenance.

Periodic care required: Regular veterinary care, wing clipping, cage cleaning (as well as the area around the cage) pet sitting.

Bottom line: In order to be a successful bird parent, you have to be a bird person. They can be great pets for children, depending on the type of bird you are considering, but require quite a bit of attention and parents will definitely have to help quite a bit, initially.

REPTILES, AMPHIBIANS, AND SNAKES

Reptiles, amphibians, and snakes make excellent pets for children, as long as they are handled properly. They are unique and fun to learn about and care for.

Pros: Most are relatively low-maintenance, and they provide a unique educational experience for children. Some can be quite interactive. Great for kids with allergies.

Cons: They aren't very cuddly. Some must be fed live prey. They can carry disease that may be transmitted to humans, but, if handled properly, this is not an issue. 

How do I get one? Always turn to your local reptile rescue, first, but if you can't find a good fit, get a recommendation for a local reptile breeder. These people are usually "reptile nerds" and will provide you with an education and recommendation about the right fit for your family. They are a wealth of knowledge. Though there is nothing wrong with purchasing a reptile, amphibian, or snake from a pet store, I'd make that option number three.

Upfront cost: $$-$$$$

Ongoing cost: $-$$$

Daily care required: Feeding (varies, depending on type), providing fresh water (depending on type), interaction (depending on type).

Periodic care required: Veterinary care as needed, aquarium/habitat cleanup, pet sitting for extended trips.

Bottom line: Do your research. Each type of reptile, amphibian, or snake requires a different environment, feeding schedule, and care program. These animals also vary widely in how interactive they are. They can be an enriching educational experience and a lot of fun, but be sure you find the right fit. 

FISH

Perhaps one of the best "first pets" for young children. You can get a beta fish in a bowl, or you can spend a million dollars on a custom salt water tank. 

Pros: Beautiful and soothing to watch. Quiet. Low maintenance (unless you go nuts).

Cons: They are quite sensitive to their environment, so you have to be careful. Basic fish are pretty easy, but if you want a full aquarium, you'll need to educate yourself thoroughly before embarking.

How do I get one? Typically, fish come from a reputable pet store.

Upfront cost: $-$$$$

Ongoing cost: $-$$$

Daily care required: Feeding and visually checking on the health of the fish and condition of the tank.

Periodic care required: Tank cleaning, pet sitting for extended trips.

Bottom line: If you're looking for a first pet for your child, a beta fish is a no-brainer. They are typically pretty hardy, and they don't require an elaborate aquarium set-up. If you're into something more involved, maintaining an aquarium is a great family hobby. 

WE THINK WE'RE READY! WHAT, NOW?

Consider the family routine when determining if your child is ready for a pet. Who will be responsible for the pet's care, and how will it be determined that the job has been done? Although your five-year-old may swear she'll feed the fish every day, she may be distracted. It's best in cases like this to actually witness your child feeding the fish. Provide her with a checklist, and even consider a pet-related reward for a job well done. Maybe she receives a new decoration for the tank after a month of excellent care. If your child falls down on the job, it is ultimately the responsibility of the parent to make sure the animal is cared for. It's not fair to Fido if he has to wait two days for water because no one has noticed his bowl has gone dry. Having a pet can be a great way to teach a child responsibility, but kiddos–some even into their teens–need supervision when it comes to animal care. It is ultimately on our shoulders, as parents, to make sure the animal is well cared-for.

Pets can provide us with love, entertainment, and a great deal of enjoyment as they become part of our families. They help teach children responsibility and caring, and give kiddos a greater sense of belonging and friendship. When considering any pet, it's important to know that you're making a commitment to the animal for the life of that creature. Rescues become overcrowded when people are impulsive about bringing a pet into the family and then have a change of heart. It's just not fair to the pet, so be sure to do thorough research and know what you're getting into.

Pets add a great to family life when you determine that your child and your family is ready for the adventure. There is a great fit out there for all animal lovers.

Does your child have a pet? Tell us about your experience!

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your baby and your pets: 10 tips for a smooth introduction

When you're expecting a baby, everyone in the household must make adjustments and compromises, including the family pets. It's important to have a smooth transition as baby and pet get to know each other. This process is more critical for pets who have never been around small children before, but even canine and feline veterans may need some brushing-up when a new little person enters the family. Here are ten tips to help you introduce your baby to your pet:

1. Maintain control. If you have a dog, make sure training is in order. If your dog is prone to jumping on you as you walk into a room or jumping on your lap as you sit down on the couch, it's time to set some boundaries. Your lap will soon contain a baby, so make sure your pet is in control. It's great to lap-share, but it must be on your terms, and it must be safe for everyone involved in the cuddling session. 

2. Don't go in green. Especially if your pet has not been around babies before, it's important for him to get used to the sounds and smells of babies. If you have friends with babies, invite them over! Exposing your pet to the antics of tiny humans will be an advantage moving forward.

3. Bring on the goods. A new baby requires lots of stuff, and this can all be a bit scary to your dog or cat. Make sure your cat doesn't make the pre-baby empty crib his napping place, and it's best to activate the motorized cradle swing in advance so your dog doesn't bark at it incessantly once baby is relaxing in it. If you make sure to introduce your pet to the baby paraphernalia before the baby arrives, it will be one less thing to worry about. 

4. Stroll. If you plan to walk your dog with a stroller, practice first. It may seem simple, but walking a dog and pushing a stroller can be a tough combo. It might look a bit odd to walk an empty stroller around your neighborhood with your dog (I did it and got some looks), but you will be so happy you did. Much better to get the leash tangled in the wheels before there's a baby in the stroller.

5. Talk it out. If you have a name for your baby, use it in conversation. Your pets are listening. Dogs are thought to understand about 165 words, and cats between 25 and 35, so if your baby's name is introduced early, they can incorporate it into their vocabulary and become more familiar with it.

6. Use their keen sense of smell to your advantage. If you have a lotion or oil you plan to use on your baby's skin, apply it to your own skin in the weeks leading up to your baby's birth. Your pets will recognize it and feel more accepting of the new little person.

7. Give your pet a security blanket. If you have the opportunity, bring one of your baby's hospital blankets home to your pet before you come home with the baby. Your pet will be able to smell the baby before she even comes home, which will help your pet feel more secure.

8. Decide on a pet sitter. Who will take care of your pets while you are giving birth? It's a great idea to line up a family member or professional pet sitter to step in while you are at the hospital. I have been "on-call" for several expecting clients in the past, and it's a pleasure to hop into action at the most exciting moment of their lives. But a word of caution: don't send a stranger in. Make sure your pet is familiar with the person providing care during your absence so you can keep stress levels down.

9. Keep it casual. An elaborate presentation of the baby to the pet is not necessary or beneficial. Bring your baby home with minimal pomp and circumstance, and dive right into the routine you intended. Your pet will be much more relaxed if baby is not presented as an exciting new toy. Try to keep visitors to a minimum for the first few days. If you have visitors, don't throw a huge "welcome baby" party in your home. The extra chaos will only cause stress for your pet.

10. Maintain status quo. A new family member will naturally throw a monkey wrench into the routine. Do your best to maintain your pet's routine. If a morning walk is the norm, then keep that habit up. If your cat is fed in the evening at a certain time, try to maintain that. Your pets will feel more secure and comfortable if their expectations are being met, so they will be more apt to adjust to the new addition. And that just makes life easier for you!

All interactions with pets and babies or small children should be closely supervised, regardless of how much preparation you've done. Until you see your baby and pet interact on a regular basis, you'll need to observe and make adjustments. Regardless of how interactive a relationship you want your pets and baby to have, always remember that you dictate the parameters of the relationship. By protecting all parties involved, we set our families up for a lifetime of happiness and fun. Pets and babies together could not be a better, more adorable, combo! Let's make sure we give everyone the best opportunity to succeed together as a larger, better family. 

This article, written by me, originally appeared as a contributor post on Brie Brie Blooms. It has been posted here with minor changes with permission.