When I saw the picture of "the dentist" and his kill, Cecil the majestic lion, for the first time in my Facebook feed the other day, all I could do was glance and read the summary. I had to look away. But, then there was another post, and another, and another. I had to shut it down for a while.

I've been avoiding Cecil stories ever since. All I knew was that some dentist shot a famous lion in Africa. As a professional pet sitter and blogger, I felt like it was my responsibility to be completely informed about the situation, but each time I looked, I cried, and I couldn't bring myself to read a story. Each story included pictures. I couldn't look at poor Cecil without breaking down, and I couldn't look at that smug asshole of a mother-bleeper who shot him.

I still can't look. Each time I see a reference to the story, I scroll away–move on. Perhaps a form of denial, but my heart just can't take the trauma of seeing it.

I was driving today listening to my usual talk radio show and they started discussing the story. I realized that as upsetting as the whole situation is, it was the visual I had to avoid, not the information, so I listened and learned. I learned that it was even worse than I imagined. I learned about the suffering, and I listened to passionate people debate both sides, as if there were two sides. One lady called in and said she didn't blame the bleeper because dentists work with mercury and it certainly affected his brain. I listened to others talk about how some of the funds gained from big game hunts go to conservation. Unbelievable. Mostly, though, people were pissed and sad, just like me.

I just can't fathom the desire to kill an innocent creature for sport. The concept is beyond my realm of understanding.

So I finally heard the gory details of Cecil's takedown. But I still can't look.

And I know blog posts are better with pictures, but you won't see any in this one. #sorrynotsorry

Has anyone out there had a similar reaction?